This past sunday my boyfriend got into a car accident. a car accident with a fire truck on call. a firetruck in a hurry in brooklyn, probably doing at least 40-50 mph. Somehow my boyfriend was not crushed, and managed to come out relatively unscathed. Thank you Honda Civic. There were 2 fire trucks in a row and he didnt realize. the second one nailed him on the driver side, no less than a foot from the center of the door. He managed to only be severely battered and bruised, with lacerations on his right leg (down to the bone, i saw it, there was definitely a severed artery…. ew squirting blood). After spending 12 hours in the trama unit with his mother and step father, i was incredibly relieved that he was released the same day. However i have not been able to eat properly since, nor have i had a night of sleep. i eat only when my brain tells me i should, which means i am probably consuming about 2/3 of the calories i normally eat which averages way lower than normal anyway. I’ve not been able to fall asleep without trying for 3 hours and i wake up about 5 times a night. Last night i tried taking the codeine tussin that i have from when i had a really bad cough and it did absolutely nothing (the first night i slugged down half a bottle of wine for dinner). i know this is only the 3rd night but i have been having an issue with insomnia every so often. it usually doesnt last long but its enough that i notice not being able to sleep or frequently waking up for about a week or so at a time. Considering V is on vaca, and i am the only one taking care of everything in the office, it is not the best time for me to have trouble with sleeping. Of course this is D’s fault for having his stupid accident.
Its weird to get that phone call. I’ve had it from my mother for my father the 2 times he had seizures, but when it is coming from the trauma doctor at a hospital youve never been to, nor do you know where it is (thankfully AW had both a GPS and a car), it is way different. Especially when it is a message on your vmail because you didnt hear your phone ring from 10 ft away. I was terrified that they wouldnt let me in to see him because i wasnt family. the entire situation was terrifying and i even missed the 25 minutes of “excitement”: accident and retrieval from the scene. i dont know how i would feel about other people in my life. if this happened to my best friend, i would be in tears. if this happened to anyone i loved ever, i would be in tears. I held it together until after i got home. after i took a shower, after i was tucked into bed. Only then did i let myself go for a few minutes. i just hate that feeling and i felt like if i did it any earlier it would be inappropriate.
Please be safe out there. Even if i trust you as a driver, it is everyone else i worry about. Always wear a seatbelt, you never know if there is a second tank, lined up right behind the first, to take you out.
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