and since i have a new reader, i’d just like to say hello.

now that that is over. last night i went out in to the usual locations. in the first place i went to (yes the place i fell down the stairs and nearly killed myself in), there is a new bartender. he is super gorgeous and all the females i spoke with agree that he is more than likely gay. there is no way. anyway, last weekend i ordered all gin and tonics and when isat at the bar he looked at me, and was like gin and tonic?? i of course pointed at him and said bingo! the first was made normal, the second tasted like exactly like gin. so now that i am on the topic of adding extra alcohol to somethingim going to have to say, there are only two hard alcohols that you cannot and shouldnot ever ever ever add more than the respective ration. one is tequila and the other is gin. unless it is a damn good bottle of either, neither should be used in over abundance. thanks for the extra gin hottie but blagh blagh blagh blagh! so deer swan and i are sitting on the bar. he places his hand down, i look at it, look at deer, look at it again (all within SECONDS) look at deer once more and we both at the same time say “did you just see that?????” he was missing the tip of his index finger on one hand!!!!!!!!!! i was like OMG and couldnt stop looking at it for a little while. now we know why he always pointed with his middle finger! i know that is really superficial but it happened. hopefully it was just god saying you are too good to be true, what can i do to make you not so perfect looking. and hopefully thats the only thing god decided on.

also i saw 3 fights break out last night. two of the three involved a slutty whore that i hate because panda hates (i know shit, she gives people diseases). she had a black chick rip the shit out of her hair and i laughed and laughed and laughed because she totally deserved it. the second was with another whore who will be labeled as vagina monster for the obvious reasons. it was her and another girl who i became friends with because we had seen eachother on the cliffs earlier in the day.

i love this place. it makes me so happy

she had a very irish name (as i do) so we bonded over that and knowing the cliffs and how magical they are. anyway she fought with vagina monster. then the fugly whore was in another firght between the guy she was presently giving stds to and another guy. all three made me want popcorn.

now ive also realized that ive grown a pair of balls as of late. not only did i talk to coyote when he was making things awkward by just walking up to him and saying why are things awkward? but i also walked up to a group of guys because one tried to flirt with deer and she is fucking oblivious. so i told him that she likes bud light and go talk to her. i talked to him a few times that night. he decided he was going to remember my name in retarded ways.

then there was the barbie from highschool that showed up and said hi to me. i dont know how i feel about that….. considering she was the reason that i stopped talking to one of my best male friends for a year or two. hmmmmmmm