this past weekend was kind of a bust. on friday i was suppose to go to pandas workplace with deer. however deer had gone to the doctor earlier and she was still not feeling well from that. so i went home and went to bed. i decided that if i didnt do something really fun on sat i was going to have a problem. so on sat i wanted to go out obviously. panda just wanted to go out to fridays to drink and have some food. i wasnt too happy but alright i figured we would just go out after. so we were in there around 1120 got out around 1230. then went to the norm bc b.bear came home and was there. i was pretty much bored the entire time. i drank 2 beers and they werent even enjoyable. around 2 they were like well we kinda wanna go, what are you gonna do? “oh dont worry guys i’ll be fine in a bar by myself with no friends, i’ll just stay here. aka not at all the case. we left at 230. i got home and was wide awake. which made me annoyed bc i didnt want to be sitting home alone being bored. but what else can i do. i need more friends, or better places to go. im in a sad little self loathing type of mood. when i spend all week traveling to work or sitting around work feeling alienated because everyone there knows eachother so well, i feel like i need to spend time with friends at home. on sunday i did nothing really and today, well today i painted door frames for mom so she can paint them during the week.

in slightly happier news, i am gonna use my green jcrew tote for work now instead of my mickey mouse bag. i know its a thrilling change!!! i am kind of exicted. i thought it was gonna be toooo big but it seems like it shouldnt be a huge problem. i also will be getting paid on thursday night. so thats gonna make my weekend. bald eagle and i will be going to eat on thursday evening. have a cocktail and a nice meal. gossip and have an allaround good time. it better be at least or i will kill him since we have had to reschedule about 5 times.

i watched Eli Stone. i liked it. enjoyable.